My Belated Entry

May 23, 2007 at 9:24 pm (Spencer, Trip 2007)

Wow, so much has happened and I haven’t even had a chance to get onto the internet and update since friday. These past few days we went to a safari and it was like nothing I have ever seen before. Our drivers were so cool and friendly and we learned so much from them especially with the array of questions miriam was always coming up with. It felt so strange to be staying in such a nice place and wishing I could just get back to the orphanges and see the kids. It was so fun but I am just totally ready to get back to playing music and running around with the kids at shangali tomorrow.

Saturday and Sunday we spent with the kids at nyumbani. I barley made it down the driveway when we arrived and I felt someone holding my hand. spencer-holding-boys-hand.gifI looked down to see who it was and a young boy was smiling and pulling me along to the playground. The children performed for us singing, dancing, and two of the older boys rapped in swahili. For the majority of both days I was so busy running around playing, singing and playing guitar with the kids, or just talking with them, that the thought of how they are all living with HIV would not cross my mind. But holding a child in my arms, a beautiful, laughing, smiling little girl, and knowing that not only was she abandonded or lost her parents, but she is also HIV positive; that she is sick and her body is fighting itself is something I have never experienced before and struggle to describe in words. my eyes well up with tears which I fight back while bouncing her up and down, spinning her around and tickling her belly. But it consumes me, I wonder what will become of her after we leave and I hate myself because I will walk away, and they won’t. They will continue living and fighting everyday.

I almost cried on Sunday when we were say goodbye. I was saying bye to a young boy who I had been running around with for most of the day (who always wanted to have a turn struming the guitar while I fingured chords, but prefered to take the whole guitar pretending to play doing the “rock star” pose) and I told him I would see him next Saturday. He said, “you’re coming back next saturday?” and I said “of course”. He then said, “will you be coming back every saturday”. I immediately got chocked up and had to explain that we would only be back next week and then we would have to say goodbye. Seeing him go from being so excited at the idea of someone coming back to visit again, and then the disapointment of hearing we would eventually not be coming back crushed me. I know I will be back here again soon, and next time it will be for more then two weeks, maybe an internship?

1 Comment

  1. Jeanne Hardy said,

    Dear Shea,
    Opposite ends of the spectrum: safari & orphanages.

    What amazing opportunities you have had, ones that could not have been imagined. I’m soooo glad you went!!!

    Stay strong!

    Love, Mom

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