The Roller Coaster

May 24, 2007 at 7:55 pm (Beth, Trip 2007)

fd.jpgIt’s always hard to think of what I could possibly say that can capture how I’m feeling and what’s going on here. When I get time to write on the blog, I usually opt not to because I am so emotionally and physically exhausted that I’d rather just space out and not have to think more about my day. But I also feel bad for not writing anything on here for a week or so, because I know family and friends are checking, I apologize for that.

I’ve been pretty much on an emotional roller coaster the last few days. It’s weird because I know all this stuff that’s going on here is affecting me, but it comes out in weird ways. Instead of being able to identify what exactly is triggering my emotions, I just feel generally lethargic, depressed, and snappy. Then it will fade and I’ll be hyper and goofy and silly. Then I’ll be overtired and spaced out. Then I’ll just feel sad for no apparent reason and have a good cry for about 10 minutes. It’s a little crazy.

I just know that this trip has been a pivot point in my life. Things can’t be the same after seeing what I’m seeing and experiencing what I’m experiencing here. There’s no way I can go back to being naive to all of the suffering that these kids go through.

It is so obvious that we are here for a reason, and everything about this trip has fallen into place better than I could have ever thought. For example:

Yesterday Amanda and Karen were on national Kenyan TV talking about music therapy and what we’re doing here to 6 million viewers. That’s not something we could have ever planned for or expected.

On Saturday, we are performing in a concert with Eric Wainaina, who is a Berklee grad and is HUGE in Kenya. He writes songs about touchy political subjects, and is an activist. He is letting us use his professional recording studio this weekend to record the songs we’ve written on this trip. Speaking of the songs we’ve written, they have also been an example of things just working and being in the flow. Everything about this trip is just working out so great.

I miss all of you reading this. I can’t wait until you can all see the DVD we’re going to be making about this trip. We’ve had Njeru, a professional videographer, with us this whole time, and he’s gotten some amazing footage. I think when you all see what has been going on here, you will really begin to understand that which cannot be expressed in words.

1 Comment

  1. Tedi said,

    Sounds like an overwhelming experience which is pulling out entirely new emotions and feelings. I admire you for going on this trip and confronting global issues directly – I don’t know if I would be able to do something like that.
    There was an interview with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt on Dateline this week. Yeah, I watched it. But on a serious note it was interesting to hear about their work in Africa and SE Asia. Seeing some of the images from their travels reminded me of your adventure.

    Eric and I were classmates at Berklee. I remember working with him during Singers Showcase, etc. when I was a work study for the Yo Team. It’s nice to hear that he is using his music to make a positive impact. He’s also a very talented and charismatic performer. If it comes up, tell him I said “Hi”.

    I’ll see you in less than a week!


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